I am not even sure where to begin. At the moment, my brain is swimming in a sea of thoughts and ideas. I keep telling myself the nest thing to do it write them all down; however, I cannot find a place to start. That is until today, today I seem to be able to find a focal point. That is due to the fact that on February 8, 1997, I was diagnosed with type 1, juvenile, diabetes. This was also the day that God taught me how fragile life is. Yes, I know we here that all of the time and at times it is hard to grasp. I do not often talk about having diabetes or even let many people know that I do, not because I am ashamed. I do not talk about it because I do not view it as a disability, I see it as my reminder that God has a plan for my life far greater than I can imagine. When I was diagnosed my body was not very happy. My blood sugar became so elevated that I went into a coma. The doctors then began to tell my parents the horror stories of what might and was going to happen, including the possibility that I may not come out of this alive. However, being the fighter I am, I did not listen to the doctors. I came out of it alive and well. 14 years later I am still alive, well, and healthy. This event in my life helps me to be thankful for every single day I am granted the blessing of life. When days are tough and I just want to quit I remind myself that God did not save my life for me to sit back and give up.

Here are some things I have been writing the past few weeks:

Such a beautiful life torn apart by her own demise

Everything in place, such a soul of grace

Yet chaos she teased only wanting to please

Dancing with deceit losing all care

Disgrace and displaced she wants you to see

Too many nights I have cried

Too many days I have lied

Telling you I was strong enough

Telling you I was tough

My heart is breaking and my mind cannot take it

I cannot keep running

My feet are blistered and my head isn’t clear

I just want to know you feel the same pain

Betrayal in your eyes

Such twisted demise

Falling short I believed your lies

You threw your dagger at my face

All I see through the bleeding is your disgrace

I have no pity for your ways